November, while being the start of the Christmas season for many, is also Men’s Health Awareness Month with International Men’s Day falling on 19 November.
This year, there was an encouraging amount of content dedicated to bringing awareness to a wide range of men’s health issues. Unsurprisingly however, activities for International Men’s Day are not as highly celebrated or commercialised as they are for International Women’s Day (which takes place annually on 8 March). While it may not be realistic to expect the same type of pageantry, perhaps it is time society allows men to pay special attention to their own struggles.
Considering Sri Lanka’s well-known patriarchal structures and the drawbacks that come with it, there is a general belief that ‘every day is men’s day’ and that these special days are to celebrate the underdogs. However, it would be unfair of society to class all men as one and not recognise that men too are diverse.
While the overriding stereotype of the ‘alpha male’ type may persist in some minds, most of us can see from a cursory glance at social media that we now run the full gamut of male expression, increasingly challenging the notion of binary gender divisions and what a ‘man’ is supposed to be. However, despite all of this, men’s health remains a less talked about topic and even more unexplored is men’s mental health.
Especially in countries like ours, where we are currently experiencing an economic crisis, survival mode has become our default. Health has taken a back seat and while physical ailments cannot be ignored and demand attention, mental health remains invisible and forever in the shadows.
The situation appears to be much worse for men considering how men are typically viewed as breadwinners and providers, and in a situation where one must ensure that their family or those in their care gets through the day, they are not afforded the luxury of taking care of themselves nor the invisible struggles of the mind.
In light of this, The Sunday Morning Brunch reached out to Psychosocial Practitioner and Theatre Practitioner Chalana Wijesuriya, a mental health professional with experience in the areas of direct therapeutic support and also work that focuses on the integration of Mental Health and Psychosocial Support (MHPSS) at Governmental and Non-Governmental Organisations.
Sri Lankan attitudes
While Wijesuriya does not claim it to be the broader Lankan experience, he sees mental health for men as something that has been changing over time. However, he noted that when it came to the topic of mental health for men or “seeking out mental health support and actually going to talk about your feelings,” it was not typically something that men would traditionally do.
He noted that within his practice, as of recently, he had noted an upward trend where more men reached out for help and were also being encouraged to do so. However, he noted: “We are in Colombo, which is a bit of a bubble, and even within this bubble there are very few who actually reach out. If we look at the real statistics, the numbers might be quite low for various reasons.”
He also shared that it was not only men who were unlikely to seek mental health support, noting that in Sri Lanka this was typical for everyone.
“There still remains a stigma attached to it and you are only supposed to seek mental health support if you are going ‘crazy’ or if you go to a doctor and they insist that you speak to someone,” he said. “Unfortunately, we still follow this medical model of seeking support. Only if you get ill do you take medication, but it is quite different when it comes to your mental health. It is something you do, like working out and eating healthy. It is a matter of taking care of yourself so that you don’t get to a point where you need a psychiatrist for a diagnosis.”
“Ideally, you should seek out a professional just for a general check-up, but of course, I am speaking from a very Colombo-centric, privileged position and it is important to note that not everyone will have access to these resources, mental health professionals, etc.” he acknowledged. He also noted that in terms of general attitudes, mental health was simply not a priority and when it did get taken into account, it was often at a point where the issue may have been aggravated.
About men
When asked about making the distinction between men and the rest of society, Wijesuriya noted that it was often a common experience for men in South Asia to suffer in silence. So why would a man be less likely to seek mental health support? According to Wijesuriya, there are a myriad of reasons: “It is culture, heteronormativity, our patriarchal structures, the supposed roles of men, and any number of other things.” All of this has contributed to the reluctance to be vulnerable, he noted.
He also highlighted that as Sri Lanka was diverse in its population with different ethnicities and cultures, they all had different ways of looking at masculinity and the ‘male role’. “When those roles are not met, there is a lot of shame and when there is shame involved they will often try to overcome that feeling by over-performing. This might be their gender role or whichever, and they try to do what they can at an extra level, which is what eventually leads to this expression of ‘toxic masculinity’.”
Wijesuriya noted that in our current context, these gender roles made it so that men simply may not have the time to feel vulnerable. Men have a lot of responsibility and these expectations imposed upon them by society and their own perception of these roles lead to men shying away from actually seeking support.
Support is available
While private mental health professionals are available, the reality may be such that the majority are unable to afford such services or feel that it is an expense. However, Wijesuriya noted that all district hospitals in Sri Lanka provided free mental health support: “The Women Development Officers in all districts are trained in counselling and there are mental health services you can access at the Government level.” He shared that this was not readily talked about and that “people will only access these services when there is violence at home, not because they are feeling low”.
Wijesuriya shared that a general improvement could be noted over the years, and while it may feel as if things were moving at a snail’s pace, things were definitely moving forward. “Every year we speak about this, say that you must seek support, and that it’s okay. While we need to understand that as individuals, it is up to us to choose to open up, to be more vulnerable, and ask for help, at the same time, we have a role to play in reducing the stigma,” he said.
“This does not mean that you yourself must have a mental health issue, but you also have a role to play with those around you. Encourage your friend to talk to you, help them open up to you rather than being dismissive or shutting them down. You can normalise these things. It definitely starts at home with your loved ones and the things you share and put out into the world.” It is important to emphasise the role that we all have to play in enabling people and giving them the environment and space to open up.
Why prioritise mental health?
“It is part of your general well-being. Just as you would go to a doctor when you are feeling ill or take a Panadol when you have a headache, it is important that you think about how you are feeling and about your general mental state,” said Wijesuriya.
He added that your mental health had an impact not only on yourself but also on those around you, and it had a larger impact on the way you interacted with the rest of the world.
On a closing note, Wijesuriya asserted that while seeking help was up to you, society definitely had a role to play. “The very first step is really to practise opening up and we can take it from there,” he said, noting that in this day and age, especially with how connected we were with access to technology, “if there is something bothering you, then help is only an ask away”.
