The pandemic, in addition to its general doom and gloom, also shone a light on the seriousness of several societal problems that are otherwise largely downplayed or swept under the rug in everyday life. One such issue that became more noticeable during the pandemic was domestic violence. This was not the case in Sri Lanka alone; countries in lockdown across the world reported greater incidences of domestic violence.
In Sri Lanka, the Chief Nurse at the National Hospital of Sri Lanka noted that there was a marked increase in domestic violence-related admissions to the Accident Ward.
In this backdrop, Sri Lanka Unites hosted a webinar to begin a conversation on domestic violence on 9 July. The panellists included Sedgwick Forensic Advisory Services UK Head Josephine Suppiah, brand purpose consultant and advocate Shanuki de Alwis, gender equality and conflict sensitivity specialist Weere Weerasingham, and Asia Foundation Gender and Justice Director Dr. Ramani Jayasundara. The webinar was moderated by researcher Shruti De Visser and was titled “A conversation on domestic violence”.
Identifying domestic violence
Speaking on what constitutes domestic violence, the panel explained that the simplest way to explain domestic violence would be any form of violence that happens in the home, from intimate partner violence to other forms of violence between adults and children or across other family relationships.
A huge part of the issue, de Alwis commented, was the normalisation of intimate partner harassment on a social level and the potential to blame victims under the guise of excuses like “this is how marriages work”. On signs of domestic abuse and what to watch out for, de Alwis explained that in many cases, narcissistic behaviour on the part of the perpetrator like isolating their partner from friends and family, controlling their movements and work outside the home, and emotional abuse that affects their victim’s self-worth are key red flags.
The panel also discussed the importance of recognising and reporting domestic violence in the first instance; this doesn’t always have to be to law enforcement, but can even be to a friend or family. De Alwis explained that talking about the abuse is crucial because the silence of the victims often empowers abusers, and many perpetrators are reluctant to abuse again if they know that their victim can and will tell someone.
The role of social norms and culture in domestic violence
Suppiah, who works in the UK, commented that even in the UK, domestic violence is a fundamental issue that crosses all race boundaries, although there is an increased potential for domestic violence in African, Caribbean, and Asian communities and that this is in part due to upbringing and cultural mindset, and the training of women to be submissive.
Weerasingham also commented on how toxic masculinity and the concept of masculinity in general places women at a disadvantage when it comes to domestic violence because of the social conditioning of men to be stronger and forceful and even resort to violence when resolving disputes, while women are simultaneously conditioned to be submissive and accepting.
Society and culture create an environment where many men feel they have the “right” to impose their will, even violently, on women. This even extends to the concept of marital rape, with many men and women not perceiving this as rape because it is a man’s “right” to seek pleasure within his marriage, even non-consensually.
Victims and survivors seeking support
Dr. Jayasundara shared that the only state-funded women’s support group, Women In Need, reported that 60% of phone calls received during the lockdown were related to domestic violence, a larger proportion than normal.
She explained that when seeking support, the first place victims turn to is often the Police. This is for many reasons – mainly due to awareness about the police force and easy access. But this can often end up being ineffective depending on how the Police respond to complaints. As personal upbringing pertaining to either enabling or overlooking domestic violence also comes into play here, in many cases, victims are often sent right back to their abusive environments, which are sometimes more dangerous than before.
Once victims have found the courage to seek support, it is often the start of a long journey – this is where institutions can come in with information and support that can help victims make their own decisions. Victims don’t always have the strength to find and process this information on their own.
The nuclear family and the sanctity of marriage also play a huge part in hindering victims from seeking support, for fear of breaking up a fairly functional family. The panel stressed the importance of understanding that when the situation involves violence, the sanctity of marriage as well as family is already broken. Staying in violent situations “for the children” does more than harm good because it teaches children the wrong values, normalising abuse and helping perpetuate the cycle of abuse when children go on to form potentially abusive relationships of their own.
Has the pandemic helped or hindered?
The pandemic has resulted in more dialogue and awareness. Dr. Jayasundara explained that the fact that this is being talked about in the media is a big win. There have also been protocols and procedures put in place both before and after the lockdown that allow victims to come forward and receive more effective support. These initiatives include a protocol for how the Police respond to and process complaints of domestic violence, as well as increased training on sensitivity for the Police, meaning those at women and children desks in police stations. However, the effectiveness of these initiatives is still unclear.
Moving forward
The panel talked about the importance of awareness, commenting that younger generations are now much more aware than the previous generations, which is very positive. Dr. Jayasundara stressed that a greater understanding of the issues behind domestic violence was key to making an impact. Suppiah also talked about the importance of the younger generations taking time to think about the values they want to pass onto future generations pertaining to the treatment of women and the normalising of abuse.
