- Civil and structural engineer Dinesha Malky Kuruppuarachchi shares her advice for those planning on migrating
Kuruppuarachchi herself moved to the US in March 2013. She was following in the footsteps of her elder sister who went off to the UK to pursue her own dreams. “I also wanted to explore other countries,” she tells me. After two years of university education in Sri Lanka, she transferred to complete her degree in civil engineering at Louisiana Tech University.
In this week’s Write Home About, Kuruppuarachchi shares details about her life in Sri Lanka before she moved, how settling in a foreign country was for her, and what she thinks are the essential ingredients to building a life outside one’s home country.
Here are some excerpts from the interview.
Tell us a little bit about the work you do.
I am a civil and structural engineer. I did my Bachelor’s Degree in Civil Engineering and my Master’s and PhD focused on structural engineering at Louisiana Tech University. Currently, I design houses and buildings. I have expertise in structural analysis of buildings and bridges. My PhD and Master’s work are related to concrete and steel bridge design and analysis.
I have also done a lot of concrete and steel lab work for research. I have mixed concrete with my own hands. I have authored and co-authored 11 publications so far. I worked for a company in Houston, Texas, and two other companies in California before taking on my current role. I have also done four internships in Sri Lanka and in one internship, I was fortunate enough to work on the construction of the new passport office in Sri Lanka.
Tell us a little bit about your family life.
I come from a hardworking and goal-oriented family. My father and mother earned everything from zero. My father is very kind, confident, and wise, and he dreams big. He is a great leader, a mechanical engineer by profession, and a businessman.
My mother is the greatest support he has. She is a draughtswoman. She is also a great teacher. She is very beautiful, loving, and bold. My mother always said that the lady of the family forecasts the future of the family. She said that if the lady is active and does not waste time, the family certainly has a good future. I think she has a very good point. Today my father owns a very successful construction firm that he founded 20 years ago.
I am also very fortunate to have one elder sister and a brother. My sister is my biggest inspiration and support. She is seven years older than me. Her secret is that she gives her best at everything she does. She is very loving, confident, goal-oriented, and respectful. My brother is only two years apart from me and that makes us partners in crime. He is very kind, and a great protector.
I love music, dancing, martial arts, sports, organising events, reading, and practising Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, and spirituality. My most recent hobby is learning astrology and making YouTube videos.
Tell us about your life in Sri Lanka before you moved to the States.
I went to Devi Balika Vidyalaya. I was very active as a kid; I would stay after school every day for extracurricular activities – chess, swimming, drama competitions, music, basketball, youth events, martial arts, scrabble, etc. On weekends, I participated in chess tournaments.
How was your experience of settling in a new country?
It was fun, but probably the hardest thing I have done in my life. Living far away from family and taking care of everything by myself was quite an ordeal. There are rules and regulations for everything in this country. So, understanding how this country works, reading about it, and researching were very important.
People in Louisiana are very nice and treated me very well, although catching up on the Louisiana accent was a little tricky at the beginning. Usually, people around a university are much nicer compared to people in cities. Professors at universities were very helpful. Americans use imperial units (feet, inches, and pounds), so it took me some time to convert everything from metric units.
What is your advice to Sri Lankan students looking to move to the US for their studies?
Always be positive. If you want something in life, you can have it. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people. If you don’t have any positive people around you, live alone. You don’t have to go through agencies to get entrance to a university. Follow the application process given by the university itself.
Always focus on what you came for, and don’t go off track while you are here. Participate in lots of cultural events while you are at university. Those are great memories in the end. Balance your life with studies and fun. Always remember the goal.
When you need help, ask for help. Don’t try to do everything by yourself. It is okay if you don’t speak good English, keep learning and keep improving. One good thing I see here is that nobody laughs at your English. They keep encouraging you because they know this is your second language.
However, I would encourage you to become proficient at English, because good English communication opens more opportunities for you wherever you go. Start reading English books. Maintain a good credit score from the beginning because when you buy houses and vehicles later and make investments; this will be very helpful.
Race relations are something lots of people talk about, especially in the context of settling in a foreign country. Did you have any challenges in this regard? How did you navigate them?
I have not faced racism in all of the nine years of my stay here. I believe that if we are qualified, we get the job. I think most of it is in the mindset. When we get rejected, if we assume it is because of our colour, then we face this issue of racism.
Americans usually believe that Asians are smart and wise. So, instead of taking things as being because of racism, we should focus on how to be good at what we do and be respectful to others. Then we get the same respect from them as well.
Do you have any advice for new immigrants settling in a foreign country?
Be positive and stay focused. Follow the rules and work with integrity and honesty. Always gather knowledge and information. When you come across information, please find the validity of it, don’t just buy into fake information. Ask your friends and make connections wherever you go. Work with good and kind intentions. Then you will attract the same kind of people into your life.
What are three things you want to see change in Sri Lankan society and why?
First of all, be honest and keep your word. Secondly, look at the reason behind your every action. Don’t do things just because it is a trend. Thirdly, don’t take many holidays – use your time wisely. In the US, we only have eight holidays for the whole year. In comparison, Sri Lanka has about 30 national holidays a year.
Three things you’d like to see change in the US society, and why?
I would say the US could learn to be more open to its neighbours, and have a more open lifestyle. Secondly, they could adapt to the beautiful tradition of welcoming guests as we Sri Lankans do. Thirdly, they could learn to respect elders like we Sri Lankans do.
Your message to fellow Sri Lankans right now?
See what your life purpose is, and if the situation in Sri Lanka is not helping you, try to go abroad. First, you have to help yourself.
Anything else you’d like to add?
Trust in God, whichever religion you follow. Pray first, and let that also be the last thing you do in your day. Light a lamp whenever you need good energy. Love, believe, and help yourself. Then the universe will start helping you.
(Jennifer Anandanayagam is a journalist and editor with over 15 years of experience in Sri Lanka’s print and digital media landscape. She is also a freelance contributor with the SaltWire Network in Canada. She spends her time between both countries)