By Kithuni Katugampola
A weapon can mean many things. It could be something you defend yourself with or an item you use to cause harm. It could be a tool you use to bring about resolution or flip the flow to create chaos. The biggest weapon that we each hold in our arsenal is power. Human life carries so much potential, talent, and revolutionising ideas that are yet to see the light of day. Each one of us holds the power to make an impact in the world. This is why human lives carry so much value.
The loss of life creates such an impact on those around it and relating to it. The grief, the loss, the inability to find closure surrounding the circumstances can be daunting. The loss of one’s life caused by one’s hand only intensifies this, creating wounds that may not heal in a lifetime. Why did this happen? Did we do anything wrong? Was I blind to what was going on? These are but a few of the innumerable questions that present themselves in the minds of those who lost a loved one to suicide.
On 10 September, we commemorated World Suicide Prevention Day. This day was inaugurated in 2003 to raise awareness of suicide and the need for prevention. To understand the current situation concerning suicide, The Sunday Morning Brunch approached Jomo, a volunteer at Sumithrayo, which is a charitable organisation founded to provide Confidential Emotional Support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair including those that may lead to suicide, and Dr. Ramani Ratnaweera, a consultant psychiatrist at the Karapitiya Teaching Hospital in Galle.
It’s not a rare occurrence
The theme for this year’s World Suicide Prevention Day was “Working Together to Prevent Suicide”. A theme recurring for its third year consecutively, it was chosen in an effort to emphasise the fact that the most crucial element to effectively prevent suicide is collaboration – that for us to eradicate suicide, we have a role we need to step into. In Sri Lanka, the suicide rate in 2019 was 16 in every 100,000 individuals; 3,135 men, women, and children decided to end their lives.
These statistics are an eye-opener for suicide prevention. Many out there need the help and support we can give to thrive and live life with happiness that is deserved.
The stigma
Whatever the nature of the pressure that leads one to anxiety and depression which culminates in suicide, the root of it comes down to your mental wellbeing being compromised. One of the things that stand in the way of rectifying this is the level of importance we give to mental wellbeing as individuals or as a society. Most equate mental health with mental illness and are reluctant to acknowledge its role in our day-to-day lives. They would perhaps put it down to an issue that one needs to get over and move on from, thus making it a tough circumstance for one to admit to the fact that emotionally and mentally they are dealing with problems that they need help with. The low level of importance given to mental health and wellbeing may prevent people from dealing with issues that cause intense emotional distress from seeking professional help, such as depression, anxiety, suicide, addiction, and similar struggles.
Research indicates that the global ratio of suicide in men in comparison to women is 4:1. Does this mean that men experience more difficulties and trying circumstances than women? Dr. Ramani Ratnaweera and Jomo enlightened us on the matter, saying it is not the circumstances of their struggles but how the situation is processed.
The malfunction of out of sight, out of mind
Statistically, women are more prone to suicidal thoughts than men. It is important to ensure that those who attempted suicide are taken care of as the likelihood of them reattempting suicide is quite high. So then what’s the reason behind a higher male suicide rate?
In comparison to males, females are more open to sharing their feelings and emotions and are more likely to tackle it, whereas in males, most of them are taught that emotions are a weakness and that one must not subject themself to it. So instead of tackling the issues they are dealing with, they are more likely to make an effort to brush it off, ignore it, or numb its presence by resorting to alcohol or even other drugs to cope with the pain and trauma.
The use of alcohol and substance abuse leads to further complications. Opting for alcohol and substance abuse as a coping mechanism most often results in addiction which cripples one’s level of functionality at a drastic rate, adding to the existing issues that those struggling with depression are dealing with. The casual statement that is often heard is “let’s forget about it and have a drink” – the age-old trick of leaning on the bottle to let go of the cares today is much more damaging than we realise.
So what is it that causes depression and suicidal thoughts in the first place? We approached clinical psychologist Dr. Mal Hettiarachchi to shed some light on this subject. From romance-related suicides such as unrequited love and couples devastated from not being able to move forward in their relationship due to sociocultural barriers and lack of parental blessing, to suicide pacts, pressure from families, educational performance pressures, bullying, and economic stressors, there are numerous reasons why a person struggling with pressures or depression would have suicidal thoughts, with romantic relationship-based issues being predominant.
The warning bells
Whatever the cause for poor mental health may be, it is our duty to recognise those suffering from such mental health issues and work towards helping them heal and overcome their struggles. Many people who are leaning towards suicidal thoughts would often share it with or indicate it to those who are close to them. Taking the right course of action in situations such as these by being understanding and empathetic towards their plight could save lives.
Additionally, to manage the issue of suicide, we not only need to create public awareness but also need to work towards preventive methods by training individuals who have high influence in the life of people on a professional level. Teachers who play such an influential role in young minds should have psychological education in the training curriculum. Nurses, who are the contact people in most crisis emergencies at patients’ most vulnerable moments, should have similar training. Employers should implement a structure which will look at the mental wellbeing of their employees. As individuals, we must be vigilant in ensuring that those around us are of sound mental health.
It’s not all bad news
While in 1995 Sri Lanka was reported to have the highest rate of suicide in the world, there are good practices in Sri Lanka that could continue to turn the plight of suicide around. Such as the strong sense of community we have. We have proven to be a community of people that shows concern to strangers and does not abandon a friend to be left alone. Through times of crisis and emotional distress we have faced, such as the tsunami, we grieved together as a community and recovered as a community. This redeeming quality is the very aspect that helps reach out to those struggling with their issues alone. One of the interesting facts mentioned by Dr. Hettiarachchi was that even though the issues within a parameter of a family might push a person towards emotional distress, it is the support of the family, at the end, that helps them to overcome those difficulties.
The life of a person in a powerhouse of potential, when looked after, it blooms to enrich the lives of those around them. Although through the years we have come through tragic circumstances that have left us devastated, Sri Lanka today has vastly improved from what it was like 15 years ago. If we are diligent in our approach to suicide, we will step into a better tomorrow.
Your feelings matter! If you are feeling overwhelmed or need someone to help you through, please reach out to Sri Lanka Sumithrayo. The centre is open 365 days from 9 a.m.-8 p.m. Visit the centre at No. 60B, Horton Place, Colombo 7, or call on 011-2692909/2683555/2696666 or email sumithra@sumithrayo.org.
