By Venessa Anthony
“Sex” is regarded as one of the most taboo words in Sri Lanka. Anything to do with sex and all that it entails is considered bad and is something to keep hushed even though that should not be the case. MIND UR SEX Co-Founder and Producer Achala Abayaratne aims to change that and destigmatise the concept of sex with his latest venture. Abayaratne spoke to The Morning Brunch about the taboo behind sex. “In our culture, there’s this problem pertaining to the word ‘sex’.
People are very scared to talk about it, they’re not very open about it, which is a danger for our younger generation going out and trying to discover the world, including the world of pleasure. With the world of pleasure comes many issues; there are safety issues, pregnancy issues, and violence.” He added that there’s a lot of baggage that is behind these explorations of people who try to have sex without any knowledge.
What is MIND UR SEX?
MIND UR SEX is a 10-episode programme that is made purely to educate and raise awareness around the topic of sex. The series will have a cinematic approach to it while consisting of scientific evidence from psychiatrists, the Family Planning Association (FPA), and health professionals to cement the points that will be made. They plan on launching the series somewhere around the first week of January, next year.
Abayaratne explained the concept behind MIND UR SEX. “We want to make the concept of sex more of a comfortable topic. We want to make it a lighthearted conversation. We want it to be something that even a 10-year-old could watch and educate themselves, not to make it vulgar.” Abayaratne used Denmark as an example to back up his claim. “Their sex education starts at the age of four, so by the age of 10, they are taught about contraceptives, pregnancy, consent, and diseases appropriate to their age. There are kids who are learning these things around the world and going out safely into the world. Even if they catch feelings, or feel attraction, they know what not to do.”
He disclaimed that this show is not about encouraging or discouraging sex, sexual activities, or sex-related activities; this is purely to create awareness. “I want kids to understand that if they want to learn, there are places where they can learn. They just need to be aware, because why go through the trouble of finding out for themselves when there are plenty of resources for them. Given that they find the correct information, then they’re going to be okay.”
Your sexuality doesn’t matter, we are all flesh and bones at the end of the day.
Sri Lankan culture
He spoke about the culture in Sri Lanka. “I respect our culture, but I have kids. I don’t want my kids venturing out into the world and discovering diseases. I want them to be safe. If we make this topic a comfortable one, where our kids feel safe to come talk to us about it, then it will create a stronger bond.” He added: “If our kids get harassed on the road, I want them to come talk to us, but the sad situation is that right now, with our culture, they won’t, which leads to a major situation which could even lead to death.”
He revealed that his posts on Facebook for the promotion of MIND UR SEX had an impressive reach, but only a very few people actually engaged with the post. According to Facebook’s algorithm, that means that many people have been searching for the word sex or sex-related products, but due to the taboo, no one likes to show that they’ve seen these posts. “That is what we need to change. People need to wake up and open their eyes and realise we are all human, and this topic is very normal.”
We asked him if he thinks this series will have a positive impact on society. “Imagine if I was a vlogger, if I tried to make a series where I try to educate my kids on the things I know, I’m sure it will have a positive impact on them. If there are parents out there that relate to me, who think we need to arm our kids with the right knowledge for the future, then it should create a positive vibe.” He stated that there will undoubtedly be many people that disagree and think that this topic is not something we should be talking about, but all that matters to him is that there are people out there who obtain a positive outcome from it. He added that the series will talk more on this topic, and about other current issues as well.
Consequences of the lack of sex ed
We asked Abayaratne if the lack of sexual education in Sri Lanka was the reason why we have such a high rate of sexual violence cases. “Sexual education also plays a part, but there is another part. The lack of understanding of the needs of human sexuality.” He used an interesting example. “When people get hungry, they go and eat and they won’t be longing for food anymore. Just like that, the levels of sexual desire varies; it could be 50% in one person, and there could be someone who is asexual, so 0%.”
There is no social condition where people can obtain a release. “There are no legal prostitutes, no brothels, no red-light districts in Sri Lanka. A person with specific desires could use one of these outlets to find release, but we don’t have that option here so they will be sexually repressed.” He further explained: “This repression leads to frustration, and if they do get involved with another sexual partner, then they tend to get ‘wild’.” He concluded that this could come across as violence as well.
You can reach out to MIND UR SEX on their Facebook page and on Instagram @mindursex.
