- The cost of living is too high
One of the most defining qualities of motherhood is concern and care. Each year, International Mother’s Day is celebrated around the world with stories of motherly love, while businesses offer people special ways to celebrate the mothers in their lives. The image of a ferocious mother bear protecting her cub is one ingrained in our brains, and I’m sure we’ve all seen our mothers’ fierce sides come out when they’ve seen their child threatened.
But what of mothers living through hardship and struggle? How do you protect your children at a time when you yourself are struggling to survive, especially when you are not privileged enough to somehow be able to make ends meet? Marking International Mother’s Day amidst a time of great emotional and economic struggle, Brunch will share the stories of Sri Lankan mothers who are experiencing hardship during these turbulent times.
Three mothers shared their woes on the challenges they are forced to endure as a result of Sri Lanka’s current economic crisis. Despite living in different parts of the island, having older children facing exams, children too young to be left alone to go earn a living, and others in school and in need of supplies, these mothers echoed the same underlying lament – things are not easy for the underprivileged.
Chithra is the grandmother of two school-going children; an 11-year-old and a six-year-old. They are her daughter’s children whom she looks after when her daughter leaves for work. Her daughter is a daily wage earner whose husband is currently unemployed, having lost his job as a driver during the height of the pandemic. He has since been unable to find steady work and has been doing odd jobs in and around the community, but for the most part, he is simply out on the streets searching for a job to do for the day.
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Describing how her daughter managed expenses and the daily tasks involving having two children, Chithra noted that things had been incredibly difficult: “Last year it was alright because even though my son-in-law didn’t have a permanent job, only one of their children was in school and things were just not this expensive then.”
She noted that the biggest challenge that their family faced at present was the inability to manage funds for food and school expenses. “When the children attend school, there are many things they need. They need books, pens, and pencils. They also need additional arts and crafts supplies. My two babies are always crying asking for this or that, but we have to always make excuses and lie to them, saying that we couldn’t buy these items because they were not available. It breaks my heart to say no to them all the time but we cannot afford to spend on extra items that are not essentials,” she said.
“When children go to school, it is not just these supplies that we have to worry about. There is an extra set of laundry to do daily, which will affect the water bill when we are already finding it difficult to pay the electricity bill,” said Chitra. “These two children are too young to go to school by themselves, so their mother has to take them to their two separate schools. It is too far to walk, and in the morning traffic, we are forced to take a three-wheeler which used to cost us around Rs. 60, but now costs around Rs. 80-90. To spend this much daily is a difficult expense to bear,” she added.
Damayanthi Rashmika shared her story of how her eight-year-old had to go to school on an empty stomach because their family could not afford to buy milk: “Usually he would drink a glass of milk in the morning and then have a packet of biscuits at around 10 or 11 a.m. But these days I have not been able to buy milk, so he has to skip his breakfast,” she said, adding: “He used to do some extracurricular activities but now I have had to completely stop those because we have to make payments for those classes, which is not possible right now.”
She noted, however, that her son’s school had been incredibly understanding and that the class teachers did not make the kids bring extra items from home – if the children appeared to be hungry or if they did not have basic supplies, the teachers tried to provide for them, which had been a great relief.
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Lechchimi is a daily wage earner and domestic helper with one adult son and a younger son who is currently studying for his O/Ls which he will face next year. She shared that her biggest fear these days was that she may not be able to provide for her son’s upcoming exams if things continued this way, because she was the sole breadwinner of the house. Her husband was physically unable to do any work and her older son had been struggling to find work.
“For now, thankfully, my son is resourceful, and he asks his friends to teach him things he does not understand so he does not ask for tuition classes. But in the beginning, when my son was in grade 10, I was determined to send him to some tuition classes but I did not expect for things to turn out this way,” she said.
Lechchimi shared that these days her biggest challenge was obtaining kerosene, which is what they use to cook in their homes. “We do not cook with gas because it is not something we can afford, therefore we use kerosene. However, these days due to the scarcity we have to wait in queues for kerosene. They will issue us a token and then ask us to wait. I have waited for well over two hours in these lines. But the main issue is that sometimes, even after waiting, they still don’t have kerosene, and they don’t even tell us immediately when they run out. They just make us wait and when it comes to our turn they say there’s no kerosene,” she said.
“I go to the line at 5 a.m., but the longer I wait, the less time I have to go to my job where I work as a domestic in several homes. Who will give jobs after 12 noon? They have already finished their housework so I am left without both kerosene and any income for the day,” said Lechchimi. “When I asked some of these people at the fuel shed what other options we have, they suggested a firewood stove, but the problem is not everyone has an open space to facilitate a stove like that,” she added.
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Lechchimi shared that she had absolutely no alternative, as she could not set up a firewood stove because her home was too small and not very well ventilated. She also fears that soon her daily income will no longer be enough to feed herself and her family. “Today I did not cook because there was no kerosene. I suffered a loss as well, because I took the bus due to the dire need and went to several other sheds but that trip ended up costing me the bus fare, which too has risen. I have not cooked for three days and we have been purchasing rice packets from outside – these packets are not enough to satisfy our hunger and purchasing these packets daily is an expense we cannot bear for much longer,” she said.
Rashika Dilrukshi, a young mother, also shared that because the cost of living had risen so high, it had been incredibly difficult to provide for her children. However, the worst of it was that their education was affected due to these challenges, and it was very unfortunate that mothers must endure such obstacles when providing for their children.
While all Sri Lankan mothers are struggling and doing their best, with absolutely no option of giving up, it is a tragic reality that mothers must refuse their children their education and even a day’s meal simply because they cannot afford it. A mother’s work truly never ends, and at this point, neither does their struggle.