S&M by Suresh de Silva | Sing like a songbird, sting like a beast 

Mike Tyson and Frank Sinatra – now there’s two names you don’t often find in confluence or juxtaposition. 

Two legends in their own respective right. 

Michael Gerard Tyson is one of the greatest heavyweight boxers of all time. Nicknamed “Iron Mike” and “Kid Dynamite” he competed in an array of professional fights – out of 58, he KO’d 44 of his opponents, with 50 wins. Fierce, brutally Savage, and feared both in and out of the ring, Mike Tyson is a celebrated popular culture icon. 

Here is a man who made his bones in the streets of Brooklyn, with a tough childhood being bullied for his lisp and appearance as a kid. It is said that by the time he was 12, Mike was allegedly arrested 40 times before being shipped to the Tryon School for Boys. It was during his sentence that a young Tyson met Bobby Stewart, a former boxer turned counsellor. 

Impressed by Mike’s raw potential, Stewart introduced the teenager to Cus D’Amato, an Italian American boxing coach and manager who took him under his wing (who also worked with Floyd Patterson, and José Torres). By 18, Tyson turned pro. 

In 2022, Tyson announced a return to the boxing ring. Mike is no stranger to controversy – after having served time for a rape charge in the early 90s, he bit off Evander Holyfield’s ear in a famous bout, and threatened Lennon Lewis that he would eat his children. 

The man has acted in movies, squandered large sums of money on prostitutes, drugs, and partying, been inducted into the International Boxing Hall of Fame, and released memoirs with Larry Sloman. 

Francis Albert Sinatra was an American singer and actor. Frank Sinatra is arguably the most important solo musical figure of the 20th Century, only being rivalled by Elvis Presley and The Beatles. He was inspired to become a singer after watching Bing Crosby in the 1930s. Sinatra has sold an estimated 150 million albums around the world. 

In 1963, a couple of days after JFK’s assassination, Frank Sinatra Jr. was kidnapped at the age of 19 by two people. His father Albert Sinatra paid the ransom of $ 240,000 and the teenager was released and the kidnappers arrested shortly after. As a young teen, Frank started performing in clubs and venues. 

By the time he was 19, he was the vocalist for Sam Donahue’s band, and even hung out with Duke Ellington, learning the ropes of the music business. By 1968, in his early 20s, Frank had performed in over 47 states and over 30 countries. Frank Sinatra’s irrefutable charm, swooning voice and unmatched swagger made him a force to be reckoned with, an individual with such star power that he was able to capture any room, and any audience. 

He recorded over 1,400 singles, from 1941-1950 Frank’s music was always in the top ten charts across the US. Sinatra’s filmography was equally successful, and he even won an Oscar for “Best Supporting Actor” in From Here to Eternity 1953. Frank won a myriad of music industry awards, including the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1985 from President Ronald Regan. 

Frank was also famously a part of the super-collective of entertainers, the Rat Pack, alongside Sammy Davis, Jr., Dean Martin, Peter Lawford, and Joey Bishop, with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Becall there at the inception.

Mike Tyson had once met Frank Sinatra. As the story goes, Sinatra had observed Mike, who was then at the height of his reign and commandeered attention with his attitude and explosive personality. Frank, who was no layman when covering the floor and room with his icy coolness and swag when leaving, had stopped and told Mike (both were renowned for their candour): “Kid, it’s not how good you’re doing. It’s how long you’re doing good” and walked away. 

‘Kid, it’s not how good you’re doing. It’s how long you’re doing good’ 

Now this is something worth musing over, isn’t it? Many are those who are rising stars, explosive suns and then crashing meteors all in one transformative sequence and chain of events. 

We witness this in sports, in celebrity culture, and in the music world often. In the music industry it is dubbed a “one-hit wonder” or “flavour of the week”. Sure, you’ve heard the phrase coined a few times in your life, either in discussions, when watching movies or TV shows, or even in pop culture literature.

There are people who possess star quality. Those with exceptional brilliance, skill, aptitude, performance ability, enviable talent, and enough planetary alignment and oceans of luck. 

You know, those people who simply end up at the right place, at the right time. 

But consequentially, much to the chagrin of those with lesser fame, fortune, or status – while it is hard to concede it’s a universal truth that’s clandestinely acknowledged that having opportunity, impressive luck and limitless resources do play a part in aiding a person’s journey, making it less difficult. Let’s not be remiss of an integral factor: Chances are that he, she, they, them possess talent and mad skills to boot.

The world possesses lazy, languid, lethargic, and lackadaisical people; some who believe they are entitled to inherit success, some who expect the oysters netted out, cracked open and the pearls scooped out and cast by their feet. Some so complacent and unwilling to break a sweat that they don’t clock in the commitment, the dedication, time, and effort required to master and hone a skill set, talent or ability. Others give up the moment they get a noxious whiff or bitter taste of failure. Some lack the discipline, are disorganised and undetermined to work towards refining their competency. 

The thing with both Mike Tyson and Frank Sinatra is this – the two came from two very different backgrounds. 

Mike was from the slums, bullied, facing incomprehensible circumstances, finding himself in toxic environments and in harmful conditions, and yet he overcame his predicament, pushed against proverbial and inhumane shove and didn’t let life’s cruelty and his misfortune dictate his life’s journey. The fact that the man would grow in arrogance as he did stature and skill and later fall prey to many a vice is not my point. He didn’t let his past inform the growth of his goals and to let it impair his vision in life. 

Frank was born into a certain privilege. His dad, Anthony Martin Sinatra, was a Sicilian-born immigrant American who was a fireman, professional boxer, and bar owner. Sinatra naturally had certain advantages; social, economic, and personal, those valuable make-or-break constructs that are fundamental in shaping the core essence of an individual. Family and support structure, certain inspiration and influence to get kickstarted with the right amounts of exposure, mileage, and apprenticeship to navigate one’s labours of conviction and love. 

Sinatra obviously lacked the socio-cultural obstacles that Mike Tyson faced; it’s widely accepted that he was well connected, with ties and popular interactions to known mafia members and figureheads renowned for organised crime. Frank was a guy that was an example of someone in the right time and right place, with the right backing to get where he wanted. 

Be that as it may, it didn’t eclipse the fact that the man had to pave his own path and establish his own identity, frame his own destiny and choose to make the most of his talents and opportunities with dedication, fervency, commitment and hard work. 

Blood, sweat, and error 

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for” 

– Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

Our socio-cultural differences do contribute to the manner and means of how we embark and endeavour on our chosen paths, as the above-mentioned examples dictate and depict. In a way, it showcases how greatness either way regardless of privilege, birthright, heritage, status, demographic, and geographic factors still needs to be earned and achieved. 

While arguments and debates will no doubt be immense in how Frank Sinatra had it easier, and therefore his professional journey with fewer tumultuous hurdles – the inherent qualities manifest that is often required to pursue one’s dreams and goals is quantifiable as more is hogwash. 

Different circumstances called for diverse and very different strategies, approaches, choices and methods – yes, I agree. But – and that is a pretty big BUT – the effort and time clocked in, the mastering of technique, the ironing of resolve, the shaping of one’s inextricable purpose, the pouring of one’s undivided focus into one’s goal, the sheer consistency and persistence it takes to become something else, something better, something superior and more able, capable, and competent is much the same. 

Prof. Jordan B. Peterson in his monumental 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote for Success emphasises something quite quintessential: “Being of any reasonable sort seems to require limitation. Perhaps this is because Being requires Becoming, as well as mere static existence – and to become is to become something more, or at least something different.” 

You see there is a link between existence and limitation. It is worth our while to comprehend the extent and thereby explore our talents – both hidden and evident – by nurturing our gifts, abilities, and strengths. It is much easier to make excuses and find reasons to quit something once we discover that we aren’t immediately exceptional at it. 

We need to push against the grind, the hardship and the resistance in order to truly grow, to eventually evolve and become better versions of that which we pursue. Excellence isn’t achieved overnight. It takes a lot of error, failure, and mistakes before we attain success. And success varies from person to person. How we measure success also differs greatly. 

It is true that we need to understand what our limitations are. It makes no sense to try to devote ourselves to a lost cause. To keep investing in things where we aren’t our best at. Knowing when to throw in the towel and pursue something more meaningful and purposeful is vital. 

Yet more oft than not, we may not find the sweet spot or our true calling without many years, months, or days of blood, sweat, and error. When we do discover our intrinsic and coherent acuteness, talent, and skill, we ought to embrace it and go the distance to realise and shape it into reality.   

So your hard work and effort will pay off at some point if you keep at it and become good at something. That alone isn’t enough. You need consistency, frequency and perseverance through turmoil and tribulation to sustain and maintain how long you are good at what you do. 

We ought to not forget that the more we do something we become good at it, and the more we do something well, we will become great at it.

(The writer is the frontman and lyricist of Stigmata, a creative consultant and brand strategist by profession, a self-published author and poet, thespian, animal rescuer, podcaster, and fitness enthusiast)

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of this publication.