Play the angel or play the devil?
Play the victim or play the survivor?
I am sorry.
I am not referring to a new global role-playing predicament.
We look at the world today where large swarms of people manoeuvre to either the extreme left or the right, forgetting that finding a sense of equilibrium is perhaps the key to dealing with fomented hate, apathy, tribalism, and division.
So determined are we to prove a personal point of view that we are prepared to do it at any cost – providing it is someone else that pays the price.
Among the many dialogues and conversations we ought to have, one such topic that springs to mind is how moral culture and victimhood have formed a kinship alliance.
And it just might be a bigger problem than we are willing to admit.
The tribe
Humanity, animated by the sheer will to survive, have always been tribal creatures. We have always been such since time immemorial.
Cerebral, ceremonial, communal – yeah, sure. Yet we are tribal creatures, as we are first and foremost social creatures. This is sort of ingrained in us. Gathering and communing, finding a sense of purpose through interaction and integration are natural to us.
Humans like other primates are tribal. We are loyal to those we identify with – isn’t this true? We are ensconced to culture and religion as we are to, say, politics or art or society. We connect to others by the colour of our skin, our lineage, heritage, lifestyles, similar habits, attributes, and preferences.
Yet, do we lose our common humanity as a result of tribalism? Do we tip one end of the scale vehemently to the point of losing sight and mind of anything that’s on the other end?
For example, we tend to be hostile to those of other tribes. To those who might be milquetoast or introverted. To those who think, feel, and act differently to us.
This is an instinctual reaction. We protect our own tribe via hostility to others. It’s part of our human nature to become impulsive and cast stones, boulders, aspersions along with the castle, carriage, and the horse at our neighbouring tribe.
However, this boils over to a much larger setup. Consider the world a stage. On a much larger scale, we seek to transcend the abject trappings of linear tribal traits for grander ones. Religion. Politics. Family. Clan.
Societies have thus struggled to transcend from the conventional forms of tribalism. While seeking progress along with greater equality and greater freedom, much of western intellectual thought is based around the idea that we have transitioned from archaic tribalism to something of greater solidarity.
But have we?
Tribalism has most certainly rendered us empowerment via camaraderie and fellowship, a sense of belonging with a like-minded community and a bigger notion of purpose that can be an impetus or drivers of positive change. There is truth in this.
Tribalism on the other hand also has given large groups of people a self-assessed right to criticise everything under the sun, to raise issue with those who may not be as jobless and engrossed with taking other people’s opinions, views, and choices personally. Where any sight is a slight. Any insult is injury.
Be the victim today!
A major pitfall today, as we see it across every crack, crevice, and corner, is this trending brand of neo-victimology. Embracing personal power is socially acceptable today. To the point of expecting everyone to dance to your whim, fancy, and tune.
In this scenario, your tune is a metaphor for your beliefs, views, opinions, feelings, and thoughts.
Principally, victimising yourself starts by finding someone else to blame for how insignificant you feel. This is interesting, as it can border between self-empowerment to the point of deflecting a god complex upon others, and at other times simply letting the world know that how you feel is someone else’s fault. This brooding culture of victimhood is characterised by self-validation through others, an unhealthy obsession on sensitivity and status, fused of course with a heavy reliance on holding third parties accountable for everything. The problem is that victimhood is now part and parcel of the tribal ethos and the giant smokescreen brandished for all to see its moral culture painted all over it. Think of it as a fresh coat of paint over a particularly nasty corroded object.
Hating and hurting others by way of taking personal offense at everyone and everything is by itself an epidemic now. It’s about pulling out the victim card and bludgeoning others for an otherwise heightened degree of significance that you are incapable of finding for yourself through hard work, discipline, commitment, and perseverance.
If you didn’t know, virtue signals are the greatest asset in the victimology arsenal. Virtue signalling is the deed of publicly expressing opinions meant to demonstrate and exemplify one’s good character or the moral correctness of one’s position on an issue. To put it in layman’s terms, it’s an attempt to show other people how good a person you are by expressing opinions that will be acceptable to them.
How much of it is more than a slur of moral grandstanding? We’ve seen the term levelled against brands, companies, organisations, celebrities, and politicos in recent times.
But do these virtue signallers truly believe in the causes they publicly support? How many are acting out of perfunctory nuance, simply scoring brownie points with a large tribe of people who are fashionable and trending at the moment when there are other deeper, insidious, ulterior motives lurking beneath the surface? Of course, there certainly will be a smatter who truly believe in the causes they rally round. This is commendable. Yet intention is meaningless if the choice to implement and act upon your ideals is toxic to others.
Pearls before swine
Let’s look at things in context to the professional world as we have socially and personally.
In the corporate world, victim culture rises more and more daily. Poor leadership and mismanagement are the popular red flags popping up all over while more oft than not, outdated organisation structures and operational frameworks also take a hit.
Yet, do employees take accountability for their roles and responsibilities as management, group, and team leaders do? It has to happen on every level and capacity, doesn’t it? Very often the focus shifts away from the underlying issue and it’s a pass the pillow of blame circus that goes on and on. The culture of victimhood in organisations will disrupt workflow like a lit match flicked to a fuel station by creating confusion and chaos and avoiding taking any responsibility. They will divert the attention elsewhere.
This stems from a school level and then graduates to universities here. The entitlement and self-empowerment syndrome is strong now. And often overused and exploited. It’s the gift that keeps giving. If kids aren’t taught and conditioned (and they really aren’t) to learn there are consequences for their words and their deeds, they will learn to shy away from responsibility and elude accountability when they are teenagers and this bleeds into their adult life.
On a grander, more societal scale, victim culture is as damaging as it is alarming. It leaves no room for people to have an open discussion and narrative anymore. It’s a social media cancel culture witch hunt now where all and sundry are called out and accused of conflicting ideals and insensitivity, thrust out of professional or social circles and micro aggressively taken to the cleaners.
This leaves no room for productive problem solving. It’s rueful, pathetic, and the long-term repercussions are enormous. It’s the easy way out for a lot of people to avoid hard work and to not face challenges on their own.
And it’s resulting in tipping the scales of power over to people who are using victimhood as part of a particular tribe to shirk duties, roles, and responsibilities, to shun accountability, and carry on their bullshit masquerade of playing the victim while the absolute cold hard truth is that you really just need to own up and accept that there is no one else to blame other than yourself.
The world is not your oyster. We need to stop casting pearls to swine. Real people face real world issues. You either get with the programme and ride the herculean storms or choose not to.
That’s fine.
It’s just that if you don’t, quit blaming others for your choices in life. Or how you feel. Seriously.
Suresh de Silva is the frontman and lyricist of Stigmata, a creative consultant and brand strategist by profession, a self-published author and poet, thespian, animal rescuer, podcaster, and fitness enthusiast.
The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of this publication.