By Chenelle Fernando
It has been approximately three weeks since curfew was imposed; since most of us have interacted with just our close friends and loved ones, quite frankly, it’s been rough. The ongoing outbreak has seeped into every nook and cranny, taking over the lives of nearly a third of the Earth’s population, so much so that even the mere thought of it can be disheartening.
While some of us are yet to adjust to this sudden change, those amongst us have found comfort in the bandwagon of activities across a number of social media platforms. A third of us on the entire planet are being confined to our homes, and the terms “self-isolation” and “quarantine” are everyday realities now. The undeniable truth however, as reiterated across all media platforms, whether it’s television or your mobile service provider, is that we must stay home for the greater good of humanity.
It has been understood that we human beings are social animals and it is inevitable that distancing ourselves and being unable to fulfil our typical routines for prolonged periods of time are likely to have a grappling effect on our psyche.
The thought of digressing from one’s routine can be refreshing, perhaps for a day or two. But to perceive this as a long-term reality is another level; it might be nerve-racking for some who dread that “work from home” (WFH) life, or worse, heart clenching for those with no work. Work aside, it renders complete disruption to one’s cycle of existence, be it your fitness routine which you yearn for to keep you motivated, or even that occasional coffee break after work or class.
Resistance to change
Thoughts of isolation during these prolonged days of curfew may make one feel extremely frustrated and vulnerable to the point where you’d think that nothing you do now may really matter, even if it was for a brief moment.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Kanthi Hettigoda asserts that humans, who are generally change resistant despise it, regardless of whether the change is good or bad. We often put things off due to the sheer lack of time, and now that we have all the time in the world, we do not know what to make of it.
Dr. Hettigoda continued that all families function according to a system, each one being unique to their own with each member of the family having a role to play. “There are different expectations from each member of the family. This has been subject to disruption,” she explained.
When all family members are confined to a common space, that is parents who were out working at a nine-to-five job are now forced to stay in all day, every day, and sometimes it is only natural to not know how to engage with them after a few days. Youngsters and middle-aged individuals might also be confronted with this exact dilemma in this situation.
Now that you have taken a few days (or weeks) off, acceptance of the situation is key. And the solution, Dr. Hettigoda explained, would be to sit back, contemplate, reassemble, and reflect upon the efficient utilisation of the time at hand. “You need to sit and think: How can I use this time? Of course, there are solutions but you need to think of that; otherwise, you’ll be frustrated at home.” Failing which, Dr. Hettigoda explained, those who are psychologically vulnerable or depressed and those with anxiety are likely to face adverse psychological impacts.
Need for privacy
An intriguing development we’ve seen to have unfolded over the past few weeks is the emotion a person may develop out of the monotony of interacting with the same faces over a long period of time. We see working moms wanting space from their kids and even youngsters sometimes stressing on the need for space and privacy. Although you know you love and admire your family no matter what, it can, over a period of time, cause the eruption of an overload of sensations.
Our culture, Dr. Hettigoda explained, plays a vital role in the causation of this phenomenon; the issue being the lack of respect to privacy and individuality. “We just barge in and invade their personal boundaries; that is the issue. You can be at home with three to four people and you can do things together and still have the ability to be by yourself,” she continued. Understanding and acknowledging that not all family members have similar traits is vital. While some members yearn company and attention, some don’t. “They will tolerate it to a certain extent, but not always. You need to understand the people in your family; try and understand their personality and their personal territory. You can be together but they need to have some time for themselves as well,” added Dr. Hettigoda, whilst reiterating that this will assist those family members deal with the ongoing situation better.
Something you could do in the event your family members are willing to listen is to have a discussion amongst yourselves on the need to allocate “me time” to reduce that overwhelming sensation and fights that may occur within a family. “Even if you fight, you will try to keep quiet after some time, so rather than that, it’s best to discuss this before you get to that stage. It’s all about communicating with each other in the proper way,” she stated.
Anger management
Frustration is an inadvertent effect of being cooped up for lengthy phases of time; those individuals who have no history of being abusive may now display an overbearing attitude. Commenting on how fury feeds on the harmless, Dr. Hettigoda stated: “An example would be a father becoming abusive towards the mother and the mother becoming abusive towards the children. This becomes a cycle.” On such occasions, it is important to acknowledge one’s emotions, that is: “I should do something about my anger rather than projecting it on someone else.”
Exemplifying the importance of mindfulness over denial during such times, Dr. Hettigoda explained, one is required to be mindful of their emotions and aware of the negative consequences of projecting it on someone else at home. Understand that everyone has their own levels of tolerance and surpassing this may only lead to toxicity and negativity.
A viable solution during such times could be coming to terms with the reasons for your frustration, and acknowledging your emotions. As Dr. Hettigoda explained, there are several reasons, a few of which could be the disturbance to one’s daily routine, running out of options or activities to engage in, and the inability to socialise.
No, you don’t have to read the news
With all this free time on our hands, it’s easy to become engrossed in the mountain of articles piling up by the hour. One article links to another and before you even begin to realise it, you’ve become a victim of the overconsumption of unhealthy amounts of information. It’s good, if not great, to be informed but not all of us are vested with the capability of absorbing large amounts of data, as it may lead to an overwhelming sensation of anxiety. While media institutions could work on minimising the frequency of information distribution, sensitive groups must make the conscious effort to minimise mass consumption of data.
What you could do is engage in practical activities such as reading, gardening, cooking, or playing a game of cards or carom.
Grandparents can teach something to their grandchildren and they can in turn teach some new technology to their grandparents.
Learn a new language, be creative; people are most creative when they have nothing to do.
Pull out that old photo album from the drawer and harness this opportunity to mend family issues as you can now reflect back on cheerful memories with your loved ones.
However, note that these are just suggestions and they might not always work for you. As Dr. Hettigoda asserted, different personalities muster various tastes and we should not throw a blanket suggestion on everyone. Quit sticking by the rules and use this time to explore your options, try new things, and make your own list of activities; all this, may we add, whilst staying safe at the comfort of your home.
Seeking the thoughts of members of the public, we were quite intrigued by some of their responses. Here is what they had to say.
Rumesh Perera
“I have mixed feelings! There is a lot of freedom, and a sense of being trapped as well because I love going out. I think it has made people conscious of our resources, but I worry for people who survive on daily wages.”
Chandrin Weerawardena
“It seemed like a fun time at first; holidays after a long time. Got a lot of sleep and caught up on TV shows and reading, but started getting bored after the first few days. News and social media started to get quite draining. Eventually, being stuck at home with my whole family started causing conflict and tension over little things. The indefinite timeline is frustrating and I can’t wait to get back to work. To adjust, I’ve been trying to learn new things online, catch up with friends, and fix and add new things around the house.”
Carrol Siriwardena
“I have been meditating, doing yoga, and allowing myself to take a breather. I also think it’s an excellent time for introspection and self-discovery.”
Photo: Diego San on Unsplash
