Colombo Confessions is all about having a laugh. I’ve had the misfortune of associating with a wide cross-section of Colombo denizens. This column is a look at the lighter (sometimes) side of Lankans in the capital of Sri Lanka.
What’s really enjoyable about reading is that there is so much information out there that offers you quite a great deal of insights of the world you live in. This week, I have on my mind the story of the wealthy beggar. I recently read about Sarvatia Devi, who is ranked amongst the richest female beggars in India. This top-ranking female beggar in India lives behind Ashok Cinema in Patna. She pays for an annual insurance premium of Indian rupees (INR) 36,000 by begging professionally. She has travelled across multiple destinations and to some holy places in India using her earnings.
This is not limited to (gasp) “third-world” countries either. There are plenty of such tales across the pond as well. For instance, England has the legendary 13th-Century knight Henry de Montfort who lost his sight in battle and spent the rest of his life begging at a crossroads, only to suddenly reveal his great wealth when a wealthy knight proposes marriage to his supposedly penniless daughter. It really makes you wonder. At what point does being frugal become stingy? And if you’re taking advantage of other people when you are already wealthy, doesn’t that make you the worst kind of beggar?
Of course, Colombo also has its own brand of wealthy beggars running riot. Not the ones begging in buses and in trains – depending on who you ask, those beggars at least seem to be making an honest living – but the ones driving BMWs and Mercs around town while turning tricks that could make a prostitute blush. Infidelity and cheap tricks seem to run like pantyhose in the lives of the rich Colombo aunties I know. We all know about the “Naughty 40s” (the chapter in my life, dear Colombite where I currently reside, albeit, sadly, not so naughtily), but we hardly ever hear about the dirty (or, dare I say, swinging) 60s, which is what these aunties are all about. But I digress, infidelity aside, what’s most unbecoming is the brazen stinginess with which these wealthy beggars expect others to pay for their food and entertainment.
How would I know? Because I’ve come across plenty of these witches who have been born with silver, but want to live off the bronze of others. Haven’t they heard of going dutch? They have actually. But only when flying in first class to the Netherlands. It is a good thing that they have rich husbands who serve not only their materialistic whims and fancies. Despite their millions, they are as stingy as fudge. This is the kind of vulture who would expect to be wined and dined by their (often much poorer) associates just because they can.
Vulture is exactly how one could describe these vapid vampires, and I have been prey to some of these opportunistic schemers myself. Just like their fake plasticky exterior, the level of privilege that drives these “ladies” is nauseating. But all it takes to make these plastic confections implode is to deny them attention. It is always a treat to watch. All that is required is just one cutting remark to put them all in their place; a fail-safe that usually incurs wrath (passive-aggressive or otherwise) is the simple phrase “you pay for yours and I’ll pay for mine”. The drama that ensues is sure to warm your soul in a way cappuccino with all available trimmings she’d have otherwise ordered on your account never could.
(Rohitha Perera is a writer, blogger, and content marketer from Colombo, Sri Lanka. He used to be an editor at a lifestyle magazine, and now works in the IT industry)
The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of this publication.
