Ever wonder why some people just stare a gift horse in the mouth? Why is it that some selected people with remarkable natural talent, aptitude and skill, awe-inspiring creativity, and with enough luck to turn their lives around or navigate themselves towards amazing success tend to simply throw it all away?
The origins of the phrase
Now here’s a bit of fascinating trivia. The idiom itself is said to have originated in 1546, when John Heywood utilised the phrase in a Middle English text saying: “No man ought to looke a geuen hors in the mouth.” But of course, the expression may have a much older genesis by means of an ancient proverb that states that one ought to not evaluate the age of a horse by looking at its teeth. Back in the day it was a habit – though considered rude – to examine a horse’s teeth to check its age; perhaps done when receiving a gift, while trading, procuring, or making a transaction via bartering a horse or horses for something else of value.
However, the idea has evolved from the original expression into its more contemporary interpretation that we should not question the value of a gift.
Dangerous appetites
Scrape the pain off of my lips and watch our lives unwind,
When I am in the camera eye self-immolation can never purify
– Nevermore
Why does self-immolation come naturally to some? And why does it come so easily? It’s fairly cliché to point at rockstars, celebrities, actors, and leading icons in the public purview who choose lifestyles that are hedonistic, profligate, sparing no expense; those with reckless abandon who waste money, opportunities, legacies, and their gifts away by burning the candle at both ends.
But it’s not only public personalities and those of a pedigree of celebrity skin who are apt to regress, go into moral remission, and go on a tangent of embracing unadulterated bedlam, sowing and reaping ashes in their wake; this is not uncommon among the more affluent contingents of society, entrepreneurs, social media influencers, offspring of wealthy high-ranked officials, charismatic pastors, State officials, and other high-profile persons.
Some people like to party hard – until they drop or someone else in their immediate radius drops. Some need their daily doses of temporary fixes in order to fall in line simply to perform day to day chores and tasks.
Some are so shackled by their vices that they lend precedence to bad habits; toxic behaviour, busting money on alcohol, drugs, and nocturnal entities of carnal pursuit, gambling, partying and in such elements of debauchery that the road to hell becomes a lot more attractive to them as they only seek to satiate their appetites for some good old penultimate lavish destruction.
Life is difficult
A lazy employee might expect a sense of entitlement having grown used to making excuses, delaying projects, and derailing work whilst at a firm where others clock in twice the number of hours and deliver thrice the amount of work, meeting deadlines. The aforesaid employee may have gotten used to jumping from one job to another purely in a search of self-interest and comfort zones the moment they are pulled up for doing a slapdash job. Instead of enduring criticism and being able to admit faults and own up to a mistake, the candidate may choose to simply take insult and injury at being reprimanded and resign to find greener vocational pastures.
A narcissist in a relationship may exploit the kindness and tolerance of one’s partner, eternally gaslighting and bullying the companion or spouse into feeling guilty for the most infinitesimal things. The partner might be occupied and laboriously busy, say at a music rehearsal playing for a band with a tight schedule for a concert looming ahead – and they may knowingly keep interrupting the rehearsal continuously just seeking attention. Once the better half gives in a single time, this becomes a habit where the one so vain does this every time a practice happens as a repeat offender.
Epilogue
Bad habits beget even worse habits. Our bodies and minds are such that once we grow accustomed and comfortable with anything that avails us with a quick fix, a poignant escape from reality, a departure from the norm into the realm of something truly euphoric, satisfying, convenient, and addictive; through repetition it becomes second nature to us.
Take people who don’t have actual sleeping disorders (if you do – seeking professional counselling would be helpful) but instead develop poor sleeping habits: staying up till late evading one’s duties and responsibilities the next day, only to get used to waking up at midday, wasting an entire morning and a good portion of their afternoon. This is fine if it’s work related, something to do with studies, an occasional holiday or time off or a personal pursuit that keeps you up at night. I speak of those who do this because they have made a habit of watching movies or playing video games all night long, until the wee hours of the morning, and sleep throughout the day neglecting to do anything productive or resourceful.
Lifestyle isn’t hereditary. It’s a choice. Shedding habits that are bad for you isn’t inevitable. It’s hard work and so looking after yourself to develop a healthy mind and healthy body can only happen if you choose to make certain changes in life.
Attitude and mindset aren’t mistakes waiting to happen. They are tough decisions yet to be made. Don’t waste your talents, opportunities and strengths away. Time is your greatest currency. Life is a gift.
You happen to be more than just some lucky misfire of the cosmos, in fact scientists believe that the odds of each of us being born is one in 400 trillion.
Now read that again.
Every time you make excuses and put something off, deny yourself or someone else of a chance to grow and evolve, every time you take your life, dreams and abilities for granted, you aren’t just looking a gift horse in its mouth. No sir! No ma’am! You are defecating in its face.
(The writer is the frontman and lyricist of Stigmata, a creative consultant and brand strategist by profession, a self-published author and poet, thespian, animal rescuer, podcaster, and fitness enthusiast. The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of this publication)
