“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.”
– Forrest Gump
“Life is a journey, not a destination.”
I bet we’ve all heard that one – even muttered it ourselves – more than a fair share of times.
And those famous lines from Forrest Gump. Even if you have never watched the Tom Hanks-starring film, chances are that you have heard, seen or come across these lines on memes, adverts, slogans, and straplines somewhere, at some point, some place.
But do they both mean the same thing? Not at first glance. Perhaps even not.
Are there threads of similar undertones in both those phrases? I would think so.
“Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get.” This is indicative that life is unpredictable as it is linear. The dictates of its primary and fundamental function aren’t governed or constituted by some formulaic pattern that can easily be second-guessed, calculated, or pre-distinguished.
But then you might say: “Oh, but that’s not quite right, no? We cannot predict how our future might turn out, but we most assuredly know that depending on how we choose to invest our time, strengths, efforts, skill sets, and abilities with ample focus, visio and a strategy will not necessarily guarantee, but will most likely set us on the right path towards positive achievement, subjective reinforcement, and success.”
And you are not wrong.
But let’s look at this from an objective perspective. Let’s look at it from as much a philosophical and ideological standpoint (not as ideologues, but rather partisans of existence) as a metaphysical and even pragmatic standpoint.
Life is complex. Life is hard. Life is lock, stock, and a hell of a lot of smoking barrels – chock-full of pain, grief, loss, resentment, betterments, confusion, envy, misery, and indecision. Life is arbitrary. It is formless. Life is full of entropy and conflict, shock and suffering. Life is chaotic.
We can never know, any of us, how our day is going to turn out.
We may have an idea based on our mindsets, attitudes, outlooks, and degrees of competence, confidence, and success (however that’s defined from person to person).
Human beings are thus subject to disease, sadness, death, and abject misery without warning.
We might be fine and healthy today, and may contract a new variant of the coronavirus tomorrow and be out of sorts and knocked out for a period of time.
A child, who may be an excellent athlete or brilliant at sports, might take a tumble and hurt her/himself and never be able to perform the same way again.
A successful entrepreneur might cross the road after parking his/her luxury automobile and be the victim of an accident that takes their life in an instant.
Morbid, yes. Macabre, yes. Realistic? Also, yes.
Then we have the phrase that says “life is journey, not a destination”. What in seven-and-a-half hells is that all about?
Well, in a nutshell it means that living our lives in a meaningful way with purpose is better than merely aspiring and hoping to reach a certain end goal or fulfill our objectives aimlessly.
Living our lives with experience, seizing the opportunities we have, espousing our gifts and talents, having some sort of plan or idea formulated into a working strategy adds value to our existence than merely having the finishing line in sight and trying to reach for it – no matter what.
Let’s be very clear. Having a relentless spirit and sturdy resolve is important.
Having the mindset to never give up and keep trying, no matter how many times you fail at something – over and over again is a good thing, because chances are that with each time you fail, you’ll come out a little bit stronger, wiser, and more experienced.
Sylvester Stallone once said: “Success is usually the culmination of controlling failure.”
His legendary character Rocky once said: “It’s not about how hard you can hit. It’s about how you can get hit and keep moving forward.”
I agree 101% that we need to have a vision of a goal in sight. We need to have a finish line set in our hearts and minds. We need to work tirelessly, sometimes selflessly, and often relentlessly to get to our finish lines. And the general ideology is that whatever life and the world throws our way, we ought to get back on our feet and keep weathering the storms until we reach the summit of our ambitions, aspirations, or visions.
Misery Index
“If you cannot reveal yourself to others, you cannot reveal yourself to yourself.”
– Professor Jordan B. Peterson (12 Rules for Success: An Antidote to Chaos)
There is a biological and conceptual truth according to the good professor that, when we as a species explore and confront with courage and bravado, the great unknown, accepting the unseen challenges and hurdles that might be set before us, when we face these terrors, and most terrible realities of life – it becomes a sort of therapeutic experience. The reward may not be what we desire or expect. The reward might well be in a renewal of self. It means that so much of what you could be can never be forced by necessity to come forward.
When we choose inaction; when we choose to remain stagnant; when we lie, cheat, steal, hurt one another, and behave in narcissistic ways, we dampen, cheapen, and weaken our character. We submerge ourselves in falsehoods and bitterness, jealousy and untruths drowning ourselves in misery and then willingly looking for anyone else who we can pull down with us to the murky depths of a desolate and brutally handicapped life.
The phrase “misery likes company” is a far greater truism than we think.
We see this frequently and ominously.
Married couples who are unhappy in their relationships often crave to coerce and have others experience a similar sense of martial grief and disharmony. It’s a subliminal gathering of a fellowship of sorts.
Take friends (or at least colleagues/peers/associates you deem to be friends) who have dangerously reckless and lecherous lifestyles; they may bust all their earnings on partying, getting inebriated day after day, loading up on molly, ecstasy or even just forming a habit of smoking weed constantly to the point that nothing productive or resourceful ever happens in life.
Have you not noticed how alcoholics and pot addicts will justify their indomitable higher state of being? How they will find pseudo-sophisticated excuses of being able to function in life and go about one’s tasks despite their daily dependence on substances or booze?
The problem is this – and believe me, I know this all too well. I’ve been there.
It is true that you might function while laced, stoned, or drunk. And you may very well accomplish your day’s quota of tasks. It’s what happens beyond that.
The problem however is that you end up stunting and limiting your self-growth and evolution because you become complacent, languid, unfocused, and, most of all, stagnant.
If anyone performs a singular task every day, at some point that person might become better at it. Hell, that individual might even become good at it even. But then what happens when you reach the apex of your capabilities and abilities? What happens when you’ve got nowhere else to go, nothing else to reach for, and are left with big dreams but an empty life with no means or manner of achieving those dreams?
That there is the problem.
The unseen path
The paths we choose in life will determine the nature and course of each of our respective journeys.
The more we work towards cognisance, self-awareness, strengthening of character, developing and honing our abilities, skill sets, capabilities, and competencies, the more we can grow. But not just grow. We can seize life by the horns and swing onto its back and ride it – navigating through the rocky terrain and winding roads full of thorns and brambles.
We will never be immune to life’s most cruel gestures. We’ll get sick. We might get injured or hurt. We’ll suffer loss and heartache. We’ll go through shitty jobs and relationships both personal and professional. We’ll go broke (even briefly) and we will at some moments feel totally isolated, desolate, alone, and bent and broken. We’ll get old, suffer the indignities of age and then die.
We might be victims of economic crisis. Shortages. Inflation. Price hikes and exacerbated cost of living. We might be victims of war. Civil unrest. Political instability. Stock markets might crash. Your business might suffer hardships and you may need to shut down. We may very well find ourselves subjugated by an uprising of another pandemic.
These are things outside our control.
Much of life is outside our control. We like to think as the superior species of the planet that we have control of how our lives turn out, that we can somehow guarantee the outcomes.
We really can’t.
Stoic philosophy tells us to identify and differentiate between that which we can change and what we can’t. There are things that we have influence over and things that we cannot control.
What we can do in life is grab that box of chocolates and not be afraid of what we get. We can reasonably ensure we are healthy, of a positive mindset and attitude, equipped with the tools in life (be it knowledge or skills or experience) to make the most of our opportunities; and then we can willingly choose our paths with good intentions, ingraining values, emboldening ourselves with virtue, empowering ourselves with wisdom and humility to always keep learning.
What then?
Well then, we embark on our life’s journey. We learn to enjoy each moment. We face our challenges and obstacles with purpose. We surround ourselves with meaningful people who augment our growth. We live our lives with experience, enhancing and improving ourselves day by day. Always forward. Never still. Never going back.
Find your unseen path. Take stock of your strengths. And go rock & roll.
In the words of Marcus Aurelius: “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
(The writer is the frontman and lyricist of Stigmata, a creative consultant and brand strategist by profession, a self-published author and poet, thespian, animal rescuer, podcaster, and fitness enthusiast)
The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author, and do not necessarily reflect those of this publication.
